Woman makes list to help her cope following second divorce

A woman has a “f*** it list” instead of a bucket list – full of things she refuses to do anymore – and says it helped her improve her life.

Leah Marie Mazur, 41, made a f*** it list after her second divorce in 2018, hoping it would help her “clear out” the people in her life she felt didn’t respect her or bring her peace.

Leah said that f*** it lists are just like bucket lists as they give you a goal to work towards but with things you need to let go of and no longer tolerate in life.

Her list includes not worrying about what people think, being mindful of her inner critic and being her own cheerleader.

Leah, a divorce recovery coach, from the state of New York said: “One thing on my list was not keeping people in my life who do not respect me or honour my boundaries.

“That was a big one for me. I think especially as women, we are a lot more likely to tolerate behaviour that negatively impacts your wellbeing because we feel obligated or feel guilt if we don’t.

“That was something I had to learn the hard way and to say I only want healthy relationships in my life from this point forward.

“I am the one that is in control of that and the one who can set those boundaries to cut people out of my life who just don’t align with who I am now or want to be.”

She said you need to think of what you want to let go of when you create the list, with Leah saying she only says yes to things that bring her closer to where she needs to be in life.

Leah said that the majority of her f*** it list has been ticked off, but some of them remain an “ongoing process”.

She said: “I feel like most of them I have done, but then I create new ones as I go because I am always trying to push myself and grow.

“It is an ongoing process, it is not necessarily something that you can just tick off and then say ‘OK, that is done’

“It is something that you want to be adding onto as you go.”

Leah’s list included not keeping people in my life who do not respect her or honour her boundaries and getting rid of anything impeding herpeace.

She said: “There were certain habits – I gave up caffeine and alcohol and I started working out more.

“For that, my f*** it list was to stop doing things that weren’t healthy for my body and start doing that were more healthy for my body.

“As I was tuning into myself and being honest with myself, I realised that those things didn’t make me feel good.

“When it came to caffeine I didn’t like feeling that I needed it or relying on something to function.

“With alcohol, every time I drink, even if it was a glass of wine, I just didn’t feel great.

“My body was never happy about the fact I put alcohol into it.”

Traditionally, New Year is a time when people reflect and create resolutions for the upcoming year, but Leah said there are no rules when it comes to reflecting on your f*** it list.

She said: “For me, it was a specific life event, something happened to me that was the catalyst for me having to get very clear on where I wanted to go.

“At that moment, I had to create this list to determine what that looked like in real life.”

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