TikTok star Russeats delivers his 2023 Stinker Awards

From vegemite brownies to a new soft drink flavour “you could clean your toilet with”, TikTok star Russeats has let loose on what he sees as the eight worst foods of 2023 for his annual “Stinker Awards”.

Counting down from No.8 to the podium finish, the Stinker Awards present a play-by-play take-down of the culinary catastrophes that left the effusive food reviewer retching.

In No.8 position, he lists Monster Energy’s new canned coffee offering.

“It tasted like a f**king instant coffee that went cold,” he said.

In No.7, he blasts Hungry Jack’s’ fried boneless chicken pieces, claiming the launch had delivered “permanent brand damage” to the fast-food giant.

“They tasted like home brand air fried processed f**king chicken,” the long-haired larrikin said.

“Absolute dogs**t. The fact that they thought this would take on KFC and Red Rooster is embarrassing.

“It’s actual permanent brand damage because of this launch.”

He puts V-Drink at No.6 for what he claims was an unnecessary change to the energy drink’s “formulation”.

For No.5, he goes to town on a collaboration between the Green’s and Vegemite brands for a Vegemite-flavoured brownie offering.

“You’ve got to be f**ked in the head to have thought this was a good idea,” he said.

“They tasted like normal brownies that were a little bit salty.”

He puts the new Prime drinks, introduced into Australia this year, at No.4.

“What an absolute let-down,” he said.

“These were so hyped, people were paying $50 a bottle, and then when we finally got to try them, they tasted like f**king p**s, like straight cordial. “Orange was the only one that was really OK.”

Russ awarded his bronze medal to Fanta’s new apple strudel flavour offering.

“This was f**ked,” he said.

“You could clean your toilet with this s**t. And apparently it was apple strudel flavour. Bulls**t. It was maybe green apple little trees air freshener for your car but it wasn’t apple strudel. But i’ll tell you what it was, it was f**king s**t.”

The silver medal went to McDonald’s potato scallops, which have since disappeared from the iconic fast-food behemoth’s menu.

“These looked and tasted like an old man’s heel,” Russ said.

“Like a sponge of oil, they were an embarrassment to a potato scallop.”

The podium finish went to Coles’ “special burger sauce” hot cross buns.

Russ, in announcing his ignominious winner, said he felt sick to think about them.

“Fair enough upping your prices to make bulk profits, but releasing this, that’s the f**king final straw,” he said.

“I still remember the smell of opening the packets, it was like when you leave your washing in the washing machine for a few days.”

The TikTokker, from Newcastle, has more than 175,000 followers on his channel and regularly posts earnest reviews of fast-food and junk-food items.

Read related topics:Coles

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