Jana Hocking on ‘for the plot’ a new ‘super toxic’ dating trend

There is a new dating trend doing the rounds that is super toxic, very entertaining, and certainly not recommended by trained therapists.

So of course I’ve adopted it wholeheartedly. Sigh.

It is no surprise that my taste in men has always been … questionable. (I mean, have you read this column!) For years I have chased after the emotionally unavailable men in a bid to concur what many may call ‘daddy issues.’

Side note: Can we please change the name for the love of god.

Oh, you don’t love me? Here, let me dedicate my entire being to changing your mind. It’s a tale as old as time, and an infliction many women suffer from. Only made worse by the constant breadcrumbing these men do in a bid to keep us hopeful. (Damn you hope.)

Sheesh it’s a messy old situation.

In fact, therapists have paid off many a holiday house listening to the various bad choices we women have made due to this highly annoying trait.

Thankfully, I seem to have (mostly) released this annoying habit. Well, that was until a realised my friends and I have adopted a new saying that is oh so toxic, and yet oh so entertaining. Well, until it all ends in tears. Which it 100 per cent will.

It’s a simple statement called “doing it for the plot” and we say it every time we date (or sleep) with a guy we know is not a good idea. In fact, just this weekend I sent this text to a friend who was at the same party I had just left …

What was my excuse the next morning when she asked who I left with? “Oh, I was doing it for the plot”’ Meaning, yes, the dude was a terrible idea (this has been proven more than once) but my actions really made for a great story. I then followed it up with a very Gen Z term, saying “I couldn’t help it as I was slightly delulu (delusional) when it came to this guy.”

Now, if I’m being completely honest with myself, I was aware of what I was doing the entire time. But in my defence, the dating scene has been a little dull lately so the idea of getting that spark back for 24 hours seemed like a good plot twist.

It made me realise though that dating has gotten so confusing now that we are actually seeking out bad decisions. Looking for that next shot of adrenaline to keep us excited.

Upon further pondering, coupled up peeps are partly to blame. Yes, you with your big bags of popcorn. You love our crazy dating stories. You don’t want to hear boring tales of the really nice guy who took us on a lovely date and then walked us home with a simple kiss and follow up text.

No, no, you want the tales with juicy plot lines. You know, like the time I turned up to a dating app date and the guy was 20 kilos heavier than his photos. Or the guy who spent the entire first date running me through his very recent break-up and asking me why I reckon she broke up with him. Or the guy who got so drunk I had to put him in a taxi. Oh, or the guy who has left a trail of women in his wake, and yet I’ll still say yes to a date because … you know … the plot!

Those are the stories you coupled up nosey parkers want to hear about. And being a shameful show-off I’m more than happy to invoke my inner Truman Capote, and tell them in great detail. Sparing no detail.

So yes, we singletons are aware that dates that involve the saying “doing it for the plot”, statistically speaking, will turn out to be a disaster – but it sure beats sitting at home binge watching Suits with another Uber eats.

Maybe we are ‘delulu’ but at least we’re finding the silver lining in a dating scene that just keeps getting madder and more confusing by the day. Oh, my therapist will be shaking in her boots right now!

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking

Read related topics:Dating AdviceJana Hocking

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